Another great post, thank you Nick! I love how your post deline clearly your approach to psychological problem with recurring topics avoid feeling bad about feeling bad being my favorite as opposed to a bunch of generic self-help stuff.
On a side note, I love the quotes you choose! My own favorite? Awesome article. These articles really explain things well and increase understanding. Thank you. This distillation down to 4 clear causes is very helpful. Feeling inadequate is like low grade, constant static. Your deep dive into the murkiness is clarifying and actionable.
Than you. Nick, echoing what a great article that is. My experience makes me wonder if one barrier to seeking the life one really wants rather than the life one things they should want is the former feels so much harder.
Lot to think about but so important. Thank you! The underlying causes you list are usually ingrained in people by society. Most people are surrounded by this societal crap from birth to adulthood. It is no wonder this inadequate feeling can become a problem. Expectations and values are tricky, because they change over your lifetime.
I think for me it is a good practice to re-visit how both of these have changed over the course of my life I am soon to be 55 From time to time, checking in with yourself to see if you feel differently about expectations and values or if you can be more specific or flexible. Thank you for this Nick. I really have to agree with Dee. It comes from all angles most of the time. It can be your grades through school and college to how many kids you have if any.
Leave alone social media and relationship standings. Excellent post. Richly insightful and useful. Thanks again for sharing your wisdom. Molto bene! OK then, seems that my perception of inadequacy is actually very real. It even seems I am so inadequate I will fail doing anything about it. Nevertheless, I cannot agree completely with the point 4.
No matter how hard you try to gain approval from everyone else, there will always be people who disapprove of your choices and actions.
I hope this article was able to shed insight into everything you needed to know on feeling inadequate. Skip to content Search for:. Personal Growth. Facebook Twitter Pinterest. Related Posts. How do I know for sure? Because they're human, just like me. A healthy dose of self-doubt helps us monitor ourselves and our behavior, sparks introspection, and motivates us to grow and change. Insecurity is part of the human condition.
We doubt ourselves so we can check ourselves, which allows us to get along better with our fellow humans and ultimately keeps the species going. Not only is insecurity part of the human condition, but a total lack of insecurity is actually a sign of things gone wrong. Carol Dweck of Stanford University is known the world over for her research on mindset. Most importantly, it shifts the focus from a fixed mindset—the idea that your basic qualities are static and unchangeable—to that of a growth mindset, which proposes that your talents can be developed.
This shift from outcome to process implies eventual success, and in the meantime, focuses on effort, strategy, resilience, and perseverance.
Believing you can improve, instead of assuming you're stuck with cards you were dealt, makes all the difference. Broaden your scope Pop culture would have us believe that adequacy comes from one of only a few areas: financial success, fame, career achievement, relationship bliss, or physical appearance.
But these mainstays of pop culture and internet gurus are narrow and, truth be told, misguided. A good life comes from so much more: having integrity, being curious, chasing inspiration, appreciating beauty in the world, speaking the truth, and perhaps most of all, creating and maintaining loving relationships with friends and family.
In a paper, two researchers from Stockholm University examined participants and found that those diagnosed with exhaustion, cardiac issues, or immunological disease scored significantly higher on measures of contingent self-esteem than healthy controls.
A recent study also found that those whose self-esteem is contingent on power experience less well-being , and this relationship is at least partially driven by them feeling less authentic in who they are. Too often, we want people to like us or want to come across as having it all together, so we end up trying too hard. But in pushing so hard to be our best, we subtly tell ourselves that being just as we are is insufficient.
Instead, just be yourself.
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