Since the reasons for taking a break in a relationship vary, so do the types of breaks that couples can have. Here are five different types of breaks you and your partner can take, according to Masini. In keeping with the "heart will grow fonder with absence" theory, some breaks need to be legit breaks — as in, no contact at all sort of breaks.
Sometimes when we're forced to go completely without our partner that we can clearly see what it is that we want and need. We might realize life without them just can't exist or that life with them just can't exist. While most people may already know what it's like to be single, when you've been with someone long enough, you can forget what comes with the single territory. So, dipping your toe back into it can give you a new perspective. When it comes to taking a break, it's probably a good idea if you and your partner come up with some parameters.
Actually, a very good idea. For example, are you going to date other people when you're apart? If you don't discuss it and your partner pulls a Ross Geller and sleeps with someone while you're on a break then, well, we've all seen Friends : "We were on a break!
Basically, you both want to be on the same page as to the "rules" of the break, because yelling, "We were on a break! They lose their balance in life, and it's about rebalancing," she adds. As long as both partners are clear on the logistics of how the break is going to go down, Simone says she believes it's a healthy way to deal with these issues.
Don't just go in there all Ross and Rachel style and have a screaming row. Explain you just want to start seeing your friends a little bit more, or go and do some activities independently, or see your family more.
And if you're living together? Simone suggests questioning whether one of you moving out or going to stay with friends or family might be the answer. It could give you the physical and emotional space you need to reflect and re-evaluate.
This is why you need to be on the same page, to make sure you're both getting what you need. If the true aim of taking a break is to work things out and ultimately stay together, Simone recommends staying in contact over the course of the separation. Agree on how often you're going to talk, via which method of communication, and stick to it. Simone adds, "One person, if their attachment style is more anxious, might need to have a phone call a certain number of times a week.
These and other questions are essential to discuss prior to starting. Setting clear boundaries and expectations can prevent misunderstandings that could cause damage to the relationship. Timing and distance may cause an involuntary break, but usually breaks are sparked by budding concerns and injuries that have occurred along the way.
Take the time to sort through the dynamics that led to the break and understand your role in creating them. If you are encouraging a break as a way to soften the blow of an imminent breakup or to explore a relationship with someone else, consider being honest about where you stand. Your partner will appreciate you preventing them from wasting precious time under false hopes of reconnecting. You can increase your chances of creating a healthier relationship if you develop some structured ways to work on the problems that led to the break.
Attending therapy alone or as a couple, reading books, watching videos, and listening to podcasts are ways to get new information for your specific concerns. If having too many outside influences is the problem, then taking time to step away to get in touch with your inner voice, wants, and needs can also be therapeutic and helpful in reaching your relationship goals.
Ultimately, taking a break doesn't have to spell the end of your relationship if you can agree to specific goals and expectations up front and heal any wounds that left damage. Make sure the changes are more than skin deep, or you may find yourself back in "timeout. Want your passion for wellness to change the world? Become A Functional Nutrition Coach! Enroll today to join our upcoming live office hours.
Our FREE doctor-approved gut health guide. You are now subscribed Be on the lookout for a welcome email in your inbox! Main Navigation. Log in Profile. Saved Articles. Contact Support. Log Out. Your cart is empty. Our online classes and training programs allow you to learn from experts from anywhere in the world. Explore Classes. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. There are few phrases scarier in a relationship than "We need to talk" and "Let's take a break" is one of them.
But if taking a relationship break was good enough for Ross and Rachel, then it should be good enough for you, right? Well, taking a relationship break or separating from your partner isn't always a bad idea. Deciding to go on a relationship break can give you and your S. FYI: Taking a break is a temporary chance for people in a relationship to explore what not being together feels like, spend time on personal growth, and look at their relationship from a distance.
They require you and your partner to take a significant amount of time to weigh how you feel being separated versus how you feel together. Then—and only then—you can determine which is better. Yes, it could lead to a divorce or full-on breakup, but only if that's what you decide you want. You might also decide to get back together. Breaks allow couples to see the partnership from a new perspective, acknowledge personal doubts and wrongdoings, determine changes that need to be made like perhaps one person is putting in more effort than the other , and then decide if the relationship is worth continuing.
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